After a 6 year old birthday party at "Libby Lu"

Has anyone noticed that there is something going on with girls these days? I mean, I played with dolls and Barbies until I was in middle school. Now days, my daughter's kindergarten class is full of "little" girls who breeze right by the toy aisle to pick out some tight, lowriders with a lacy stretch top complete with some saying like "It's all about me" or "Boys stink" or better yet, "I'm a brat" emblazoned across the chest. Exactly what are we trying to teach our children here? That being an egotistical, spoiled brat is something to advertise? That boys are really inferior and its okay to say mean things about them? Frankly, it scares me. Hallie is one of the 2 or 3 girls in her class who couldn't care less about her clothing and has two pairs of shoes...Sunday shoes and tennis shoes, and neither of them have a 3 inch heel. She wears cute "girly" clothes that I pick out (for the most part), and as long as they are comfortable and include some form of pink, doesn't care. She is more interested in taking care of her baby dolls, riding her scooter or bike or painting another masterpiece for our rapidly decreasing wall space. Maybe it's because I have limited her TV watching to educational shows only, or maybe it's because I am not really into fashion. I don't know, I only know that I want my little girl to stay a little girl until she's not one any more. That's another thing that bothers me. So many of the parents encourage these interests. They actually want their daughters to dress and act like a rock star. They are constantly asking me "How do you get her to dress in such cute little outfits?" I just respond by saying, "because that's all I buy." I just don't get it. Does anyone else out there see this trend or is it just me?

For those of you who don't know, Libby Lu is a store for girls where they do makeovers, sell teeny little outfits, fake hair and various body jewelry. It is mostly for preteen girls, but several 5 year olds are having their birthday parties there.

Here is Hallie after her makeover. Yes, that is blue lip gloss and eye shadow. Thankfully, she refused the fake gem stickers on her face, however we couldn't get around the fake ponytail thing on the back of her head.


Here is the entire group after the "fashion" show. Notice Hallie at the top with a "I'm not really with them" look on their face. I am not including pictures of the fashion show as they include many of the girls performing some very grown up moves in their mid-drift baring outfits. Hallie and her close friends tried to hide behind them.

Okay, I am not trying to throw out a "better than thou" tone here. I don't think these girls are bad, nor are their moms. Many of them are good friends of mine. Maybe I am the one doing something wrong. Who knows? It just seems like they grow up fast enough, why should we rush it? Trust me, I know from experience that rearing teenagers is difficult enough. I am certainly not ready to start it now with my 6 year old.

Thanks Times Two

Thank you for all of your encouraging words regarding Hallie. She has been sleeping much better since Sunday night. Now we need to work on the root of these fears and reducing her rituals and compulsions. Her first therapy appt. isn't until April 25th, so we have a while. I just hope this doctor is able to help her. I haven't totally ruled out medication, but I am going to wait and get the psy. opinion. It seems like whenever we nip one thing in the bud, it is replaced with something else. She now insists on sleeping with a bowl in her bed in case she throws up during the night. She hasn't been sick for months, so I am not sure where this came from, but she panics if it's not there. That's just one example, however I do want to share an experience I had last night. I was watching TLC in bed and all these shows with heartwrenching stories kept coming on and I really had a moment of knowing exactly how small my problems are. I don't have to scrub and cream my children's skin 4 times a day so they won't die from Harlequin-Icthyosis or any other genetic disease. No one in my family weighs 750 pounds and I don't have to watch them die slowly from the effects. I haven't lost a child or had one with a serious illness. I have a loving husband, a beautiful home, 2 precious and healthy children and no need goes unmet. I really don't have anything to complain about. All I can do is just thank God and pray for those who do experience the things above.

Well, this week has been beautiful. We are now officially in shorts/T-shirt weather (my favorite). It is that awesome time of year where the days are warm but not hot and the nights are cool but not cold. We are loving it! Hallie began softball this week so we have really been taking advantage of the weather and practicing a lot. Even Ethan who is only 3 years and 4 months can hit a ball pitched to him. I am impressed, and so is his daddy!

Back to the Land of Reality

Let me first inform you that I am writing this after a night of absolutely NO sleep. Not 3 hours, not one hour, not 30 minutes....NONE. So, if this makes no sense, cut me a break.

We arrived home last night at 10 p.m. and quickly shuffled the kids to bed. We were totally exhausted after 10 hours in a moving motor home and Randy and I went to bed as soon as we could. Unfortunately, Hallie could not sleep and I was up with her until 3:30 a.m. wondering why I had decided against medication again (?). Finally, she calmed down and went to sleep, but I was so worried about her that I could not. I finally just got up and started the day. Needless to say, she did not go to school today. She seems fine now, but I am stressed about bedtime tonight. It is tough knowing that I have genetically passed OCD on to my daughter. It is ten times harder to go through this with my child than myself. I have shed many a tear over this and although I know it could be much worse, I wonder if I am doing the right thing by not medicating her. A six year old on Paxil? I was a teenager before I entered the land of SSRI's. Admittedly, I waited too late, but it just seems wrong to start her on something that may be a lifetime regimen at such an early age. I don't want her to go through her childhood afraid like I did, though. Lord, help me. I need some guidance here.

Well, our trip was wonderful, despite our problems last night and my zombie-like state today. I will recover, though. I have lots of experience in coping with no sleep. Lots.


Family carriage ride through historic Charleston.


















Living here wouldn't suck, would it?

My Scholastic Strength...

I got this quiz from Mel...

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History wForeign language

What Should You Major In?

Well, I guess English is a foreign language to some people...

Charleston, Day 3!!

Today we visited the South Carolina Aquarium and rubbed elbows with otters, sea turtles and a piranha or two.





But first, we had to have a healthy breakfast.



Of course, we also indulged in pralines, fudge and other various health foods. Needless to say, we are enjoying ourselves!!

Spring Break, Yea!

We have been in Charleston, SC for the last two days. We are all having a blast and a much needed break. We have been to an aircraft carrier (USS Yorktown) and today visited a plantation called Middleton Place. Since we visit this town a few times a year, we have been these places before, but it's fun to see the kids getting into it. Here are a few pictures! I will try to post some each day.

Yikes!

School is out this week and Randy is going to Florida to film a piece on his company for a national news network (cool, huh?) so the kiddos and I are heading down to my mama's house. As many of you know, this could be an emotionally traumatic experience, so wish me luck!! I don't do this very often. I will be sleeping in my old room and old bed with some old, not-so-good memories. Please keep us all in your prayers. This filming is a very important event for my husband.

We are all heading to Charleston on Tuesday, so I am just going to focus on that! Since my mom has a crappy dial-up connetion, you won't be hearing from me for a few days. Have good ones!

A Leisurely Day

What a nice, peaceful little Saturday we are having! It's a little cool compared to last week, but still in the 60's and the hubby is trimming shrubs and pressure washing the porches as I write. Today we leisurely laid in bed until 8:00, with Ethan pitter-patting his way in about an hour before. Hallie is at her dad's house, so it wasn't as crowded in our queen size bed as usual. Randy and Ethan played the "mountain" game (a.k.a. Daddy's legs) until hunger drove us all into the kitchen. I am still on my sweet tea strike (the horrors!) so all I had to drink was black coffee and O.J. I went without caffeine at all a couple of days ago and ended up downing Motrin by noon, so I learned my lesson there. It's hard, though, to leave off a drink that I am used to having 3 times a day, but it's worth it, I guess, to lessen my high sugar intake. I'm not really trying to lose weight, but just eat healthier. I am used to eating whatever I want and still weighing 115 pounds, but I don't make very good choices. I suppose the yoga has inspired me.

Anyway, I got this meme the other day, so here it goes!

sat-8 :: spring fever
1. have you gone on spring break before? if so, where, and if not, why?
Well, I don't exactly understand this question. I have experienced spring break every year of my life. My mom taught elementary school and I am used to having a week in spring to just relax and enjoy the weather. I never went any where with friends in high school or college during this time because I was a social loser in high school and married through most of college.

2. do you take a spring vacation?
I do now! Since I married someone who loves travel, especially to historic places, we often go somewhere in the spring. It is usually Charleston, SC (where we were married) or the gulf coast.

3. if you had (or have) a spring vacation, what would be your first choice to do? skiing in vermont? a week in the keys?
Neither one. I would love to go up the East coast and visit all the historical places along the way, i.e. Williamsburg, Jamestown, Philadelphia, New York, Boston, etc. or visit the U.K. for the first time.

4. in your home/apartment, do you do spring cleaning?
Absolutely. Of course, I do summer, fall and winter cleaning, too.

5. in your area, what is your weather generally like in mid-march?
It's usually very finicky. We will have days of temps in the high 70's and awesome breezes and then we might have days where it goes back down into the 40's. However, the trees start blooming at this time and it's usually very beautiful outside.

6. spring is my favourite season ... do you share my sentiment, prefer another season?
I love all the seasons, except I am sick of winter after Christmas (10 days of cold weather is enough for me). I think spring and fall are my favorites with fall having a slight edge since my hubby and I met and courted during that time of year.

7. do you do anything differently in spring than you do any other time of the year? (plant flowers/garden, take off the snow tires, etc.)
I plant flowers and vegetables with my kids and I start leaving the doors open (we have screen doors) to let the smells and air inside the house.

8. what are your plans for this weekend?
To clean my porches, do a little yardwork and ride bikes with the family this afternoon.

My Day and Other Things of Interest (or not)

Today was very tiring. I spent the entire first half of it in the hospital endoscopy department. My MIL has had several colonoscopies lately due to some suspicious findings and today was one of them. Bless her heart, the preparation for those things is horrible. If you don't know, just imagine taking 24 laxatives in 2 hours and then not eating for 24 hours. Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Ethan, who is her absolute favorite person in the entire world, has done a lot to get her up and moving. I swear, she just adores that child. They have such an awesome relationship and I am so happy about that. She really is an incredible person and she is not only my mother in law, but one of my best friends as well. How many people can say that! Not many that I know. Well, anyway, we were there for four hours for a procedure that takes about 30 minutes. Yeah, I don't get it either.

After getting my MIL home and in bed, I went to put Ethan down for his nap and put out my Easter decor and framed several pictures. Have I ever mentioned that I have taken over 10,000 pictures in the last five years? It's a good thing I have lots of wall space. I then had to take Ethan to get a very badly needed haircut. His hair has never been in such bad shape. It was so embarrassing that I put a hat on him so I could blame it on hathead. I just hate having it so short, but I have come to realize that I have no choice. My son inherited 3 traits from me and one of them is my curly hair. The other two are my ears and my dimples. In case you've never noticed, Ethan is my husband's clone... a fact that I (and he, of course) love.

Well, I just returned from MIL's house where I took her food and visited a while. I am exhausted so an insightful post will have to wait yet another day, and if you read this far, bless your little heart.

I am 96% Dixie!!!

You have to take this quiz. My score was as follows...

"96% Dixie...Is General Lee your father?"

Well, my dad is no general, but you don't get any more southern than he is. Of course, making everything into a multi-syllabic word doesn't help, I suppose. I love when my stepkids come to visit and I send them home saying "ya'll" and "fixin' to". I am sure that goes over really well at home ;)

A Good Day...

Today was a good day. It's nice to have one of those here and there, isn't it? I mean, a day where you can't think of anything that went wrong. On the average, a vast majority of my days are good, but with their moments of crazy glue incidents, flushed legos and chewing gum/hair affairs. Today had none of those. One thing that made it so great is that I had my Hallie with me. Yes, she played hooky today (shhh!) because we had an appointment at the private school she may attend next year, but we started our day with a mommy daughter breakfast of bagels, OJ and one large glass of sweet tea (that was mine, of course). It was just too warm for my usual coffee this morning. W e have been having temps in the 70's and lots of new blooms. Man, I love this state, but...I digress. Anyway, we then went to the salon where I got the best haircut I have ever had and Hallie was just her sweet and patient self. After a fast lunch at McD's we picked up Ethan and headed over to the Academy. I don't know why, but I was a little nervous. Mostly I was just worried about Hallie's receptiveness to this school since I really feel God is leading us there. Fortunately, she really liked it, especially the beautiful Biblical mosaics on the walls and the small classes. It also helped that after her interview and testing, she got a Tootsie-Pop which she consumed intermittently all afternoon. How many licks does it take to get to the center, anyway? Did that owl ever figure it out? Well, I'll tell you, it's more than she could muster in an afternoon. After we all took a nice little nap, we played games and colored until suppertime which coincided with a brief, but strong thunderstorm. You know, the kind that you can smell all day and that begins with sullen drops of heavy rain, a wind that rattles the windows and an airiness that makes you long for summer and the days of screened doors and long shadows.

Okay, maybe it's just me ;)

Just a Quickie...

Whew...it's been a busy week and it's only Tuesday. I was without internet for almost 48 hours due to our lawn guy severing our cable with his tiller. Talk about withdrawal! I couldn't check the weather (no cable tv either), the school lunch menu, and I actually had to drag the phone book out to look up a number. Can you believe that? The horror. Anyway, it's back now and I am very thankful. Tomorrow my daughter won't have to suffer through vegetable beef soup and I can dress weather appropriately.

I have to go do my yoga, but I did want to update everyone. My husband's biopsies all came back negative...thank God! He is doing much better and so am I! Unfortunately, we are having some issues with Hallie and her dad that have kept me in knots for the last few days, but I don't have time to get into them now, so I will continue tomorrow. Good night!

Randy's First Round of Tests

Hello all! Well, Randy has his endoscopy and biopsies today. Everything went very well. He does have a hiatal hernia which has been causing a lot of his gastric problems. They also biopsied several places in his stomach, but thankfully the doctor says that he doesn't think they are anything to worry about. We will find out in a week at his appointment. Although I am sure things are fine, please continue to pray for him. He has to wait over a month for the next round of testing.

I want to thank all of you for your responses to my last entry. The delurking alone (2 came out of the woodwork!) made my day! It's very heartwarming to know that I have people that I haven't even met rooting for me. And for you new commentors (or is it commentees?), please feel free to do so any time. Or not. Whatever makes you comfortable. I am just thankful to have some readers...especially such caring ones.

Okay, it's family movie night! Got to make the popcorn. A great evening to all and thanks so much!

Purging...

Sometimes I think that I have never known peace. Only in the most divine moments of my relationship with Jesus have I even glimpsed it's misty form. Even as a small child when everyone deserves to feel safe, I didn't. I was always doing something wrong. I wasn't being quiet enough. I couldn't sit still enough. I didn't drink my coke fast enough. My shoes were always untied. My ice cream always ran down my elbow. I chewed my fingernails. I twisted my hair. I bit my lip. Everything I did made life even more miserable for my sad parents. As a result, I have become a woman who often feels like a failure. A woman who expects perfection from myself. A woman who feels worthy of punishment if the casserole is overdone. A woman with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with a sister who almost starved to death not once, but twice. I love my mother and I always will. I know her life wasn't easy, but I don't understand her and I don't think I ever will. I have learned how to have a functional relationship with her, but it's not the way it should be. Sometimes I just want a real mother. Someone I could talk to about my children. Someone to lift me up when I am feeling down. I wish I had memories of my mother comforting me. Babying me. Being on my side. I see my friends who have it and although I have learned to live without it, there's a hole that will always be there. I'm very fortunate to have such a loving and caring dad who is also one of my best friends. There will never be an replacement for that. I also know that I am fortunate to have a mother, but sometimes that's just not enough.

Sometimes, I just wish I had a mommy.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm rather handy in the kitchen?

Well, how would you like to sink your teeth into this?


Aha, the lucky members of my small group will have that chance. Unfortunately, the hubby is out of town closing a big business deal. I'll have to save him some...if there is any left. I suppose there are some people who don't like Black Forest Cobbler, but they wouldn't be friends of mine ;)

Pregnancy Q & A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Weekend...

Whew...what a nice weekend. It seems like the first time since Christmas we have had a few days with both kids to just relax. Friday evening our friends came over and their daughter (Hallie's best friend) slept over (her first). It was great because the kids played upstairs and the adults got to chat for a few hours. Anyway, Saturday was a beautiful day with temperatures in the 60's so we ended up outside most of the day with all the neighborhood kids ripping and running through the yard. It was the exact scene I had always envisioned when I dreamed about having a family. It just made me very grateful to God for what He has given us. I never want to lose sight of that.

Well, this week will be a busy one. Randy will be out of town for two days and then he has his endoscopy on Thursday. It will last most of the morning and then he will be groggy from the anesthesia for a while. Please pray for a postivie outcome. He is fairly anxious about it. I really feel that everything will be fine, but I am mostly worried about how he will do with the procedure itself. Having a scope going down your throat and into your stomach doesn't sound like an ideal way to spend a morning. Of course it could be worse. Wait, that one is next month ;)

Alright, I am going to end this boring post and go to bed. I hope you all had as good a weekend as I did!

Just a Jana Update

I am happy to report that a few changes are taking place in my life this week. I am beginning a new exercise program that combines yoga and ballet. It is a tough workout, especially in the abdominal and gluteal regions (if you don't know what that is, look it up.), but I am really enjoying it. I used to be a dancer (ballet, not the other kind) and a lot of it is coming back when I do these moves. I feel much more energized and healthy already. I just hope I can stick with it.

I have also begun eating breakfast regularly, which is a big change for me. Usually I am so busy in the mornings that by the time I have a chance to eat, the hunger has turned into an empty knot and I lose my appetite. After realizing that this is probably contributing to the brick wall I run into everyday at 1 p.m. I decided to do something about it. So, this Monday I began by toasting a couple of Kashi blueberry waffles while my son ate his Mini-wheats. Bad idea. I tried to explain that these weren't the "good" waffles that I fed him sometimes. These were "mommy" waffles, chock full of fiber, soy protein and other nutrients. Unfortunately, these notations did nothing to qualm his pleadings. So, on Tuesday I ate a bowl of high-fiber cereal instead. I think I'll eat the waffles when he's not looking. They really weren't too bad, if you like the taste of styrofoam. Of course, anything is good smothered in Aunt Jemima, isn't it?

The last change I have made this week is to join a group called Flylady.net. It is a website dedicated to helping women declutter their houses and their lives. It helps you on this journey by sending you (very) frequent email reminders to form certain routines that help you stay on top of your duties as a mom and wife. It's a great idea and I have learned a lot so far. It has helped me with little things that I don't even think about but that desparately need to be done, like cleaning out my purse and taking 15 minutes to throw away/donate some things that are merely taking up space (i.e. my closet). Fifteen minutes isn't much, but when you do it everyday for a month, it reallys clears out some space. Or at least I am hoping it will. I have only been doing this for two days. The only part I cannot bring myself to do is wear shoes in the house. The idea is that wearing shoes, preferable lace-ups, puts you in a "get things done" mode and inspires productivity. However, I detest shoes and the first thing I do when I walk in the house is to kick them off. I am very uncomfortable in shoes and I don't think that's going to change. So, I am hoping you can be successful at this program without them. Anyhoo, it seems promising and I will keep you all informed of my progress. I know you are just tingling with anticipation.

Okay, gotta go shine my sink.

Just a random picture my daughter took...

Randy and I...aren't we cute? Well, he is anyway. I had to crop this one so you couldn't see my P.J.'s. I don't think I am ready to share that yet!

From Dictionary.com

lurker:
n. One of the `silent majority' in a electronic forum;one who posts occasionally or not at all but is known to read the group's postings regularly. This term is not pejorative and indeed is casually used reflexively: "Oh, I'm just lurking." Often used in`the lurkers', the hypothetical audience for the group's flamage-emitting regulars. When a lurker speaks up for the first time, this is called `delurking'.