88 Degrees...

Whew...it's now OFFICIALLY Spring (really feels like Summer), but I won't be complaining. Anything's better than cold weather. We just returned from Spring Break and a week long camping trip. We visited several places and had no set plan. We ended the week at my mom's house and celebrated some family birthdays. We have all been feeling well and excited about things to come. I am proud of myself for sticking to my exercise routine and I swear I will be bikini ready in time for our first beach trip this year. My goal was to pack on some muscle weight and so far, so good. Anyway, Marshall is coming to visit tomorrow and we have another camping trip planned. Soon after that Hallie will be starting softball (coach pitch this year...yea!), working on her orange belt test in karate and Ethan will be taking swimming lessons at the YMCA. In May we have our annual Destin, FL trip...the day school is out, we're gone! In June, we are all flying to California for a week to see Alex graduate from high school and we will also be going to Disneyland, SeaWorld, and visiting with close friends. After that, Alex will be coming to Alabama to stay!! What could be better? As you can see, we have a lot to look forward to and a lot to be thankful for! I hope all of you are having a wonderful Spring as well!

Happy Happy, Joy Joy

My season of wintering is over once again. My senses have come alive, awakened by the 75 degree air presently coming through my window screens. I have them all open right now. I couldn't resist. It' s a wonderful feeling, I can't stop myself from walking over to them and taking slow deep breaths of that almost-Spring air. If I sound happy, it's because I am. The strep throat has been banished, I can take my walks outside everyday and the evenings are punctuated with the shrill laughter of children...mine and the neighbors, floating through the house from the backyard. A sense of harmony has settled on our home and I am basking in it's glory.

Well, I must go now and work out while I still have time before school gets out. I am aiming to find that six pack that I know is there somewhere before swimsuit season is here. Have good weekends everybody!

At Last...

My daughter has become a lover of reading. She has always loved books and she liked to read, but last night it hit me....she has fallen in love with it. When did it happen? About 9:30 p.m. when I put my head into her bedroom and saw a figure hunched over something unseen with head bowed, surrounded by a incandescent glow. It was Hallie, hunched over a worn copy of "Curious George Takes a Train" so engrossed she didn't even notice my silhouette in the doorway. Even more significant is that the exact same thing happened the night before, only involving a dog-eared copy of Henry and Mudge. And even more enthralling is that both incidents occurred only a few hours after she was glued to a Magic Treehouse book while I dried her hair.

To like to read is important, almost even necessary in today's world where you diagram sentences in first grade and are bent over homework for three hours a day just two years later. To love to read is is something else again. It is most definitely a blessing... it can be a curse...but one thing I know for sure is that it has been a saving grace for me. There is never a moment of boredom for a lover of books. Never a situation you can't escape. Never a lack of love, anger, rage, pathos or long strands of beautiful words describing something so perfectly it almost takes physical form in your mind's eye. Ideas are spun, lyrics are sung, images formed and fears lie wasted under darkened skies. The mysteries of language are decoded and the power of words becomes apparent, long before you lie full witness to their virility. I owe much of who I am to books....to Anne Shirley, Francie Nolan, Scout Finch...all of whom drew breath only in inky pages and the synapses of minds like my own, both fertile grounds for ripening intellect.

Strep Throat and...Babies?

Well, the tiredness took its toll. The kids and I now have strep throat. After a day of various fevers, chills, sweats, and a throat that looks like something out of a horror movie I am finally on the mend....I think. I had to spend all day yesterday in bed while the kids, having hardly any sypmtoms, ran wild. Randy had to work from home. Scott had to stay home and help out. All because of me. Yes, I feel guilty, but I really had no choice in the matter. At least I got to watch four episodes of "Baby House" and cry every time a mother held her newborn. Yes, I am a sentimental goofball. Anyway, seeing babies always makes me want another one. I love babies. I LOVE them. I love children of all ages, of course, but babies make my maternal instincts go crazy. Their little eyes, little mouths, the tiny fingers, the late nights, the formula, every time they do something new....I love it all. And I miss it. I know that I should be content with having two children, especially since I have a boy and a girl. Especially since my husband is 46 years old and we have a total of 6 kids. It's great being able to do things and go places you can't go with a baby. It really is. There are tons of advantages to having your babies in your twenties. Now that I am an old woman of 30, why would I want to go through all that again? And the funny thing is, I really don't want to. I had horrible pregnancies, full of trips to the ER, preterm labor and don't even get me started on my birth experience. I just can't help it....I still love babies and I always will. Holding one turns me into a big bowl of mush. Go ahead and spit up on me. Pull my hair out. Yank my earrings....and look precious doing it.

Ah well, I suppose it's all part of God's plan to populate the earth. I know I don't need another child. I know I can't have another one anyway.

Wait a minute...how did I get from strep throat to having babies? Stream of Consciousness, people. That's what this is. It's actually a very popular form of writing. Haven't you read Faulkner or Joyce? Just call me Virginia Woolf.

Blah, Blah, Blah

Just a quick hello from the world of chaos here. We moved two weeks ago and amazingly, it went pretty well, which is more than I can say for everything else. When it rains it doesn't just pour, it pretty much floods. We have left our former church for reasons I can't get into. It has been a very difficult and painful time for us but things are looking up.

Anyway, moving on...there are lots of positive things about my new house. It's easy to clean. It's close to EVERYTHING. My neighbors here don't match their fingernail polish with the trim on their designer purse or wear jogging suits that they have no intention of exercising in. They also don't offer referrals to plastic surgeons or have their six year old's hair highlighted. I haven't yet met someone here with a nanny who I embarrassingly mistake for a child's mother. All in all, my neighbors are real people and that is pretty refreshing.

In all seriousness, I really do like the new house and our new church. Alot. We are just under a lot of stress right now. Randy is having to work 60+ hours a week and is extremely anxious about finances, etc. Ethan has bronchitis. The kids are still adjusting to the move and Hallie is dealing with not seeing her dad for 18 months. None of us are getting much sleep. I just can't remember being this tired. Okay, except for when I was pregnant. Oh, and when I had a newborn. But this ranks in the top five for sure.

Well, speaking of sleep.....anyway, thanks for listening (well, reading). I'll keep you updated. I may start blogging again. It's a good outlet for me. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I am just so grateful that I have a strong marriage, family and Jesus. They keep me going.

For those of you that are wondering...

I'm alive. Thanks to Gidget and others who have sent me "miss you" messages. It has really meant a lot. I miss blogging as well, but things are just too crazy right now for me to commit much time to it. We are in the process of moving in a few weeks and I have to figure out what to do with the stuff that's just not going to fit (much smaller house) on top of scheduling the movers, packing, etc. There's lots of other stuff going on as well...Hallie's dad has received orders for Iraq and he will be going on active duty in March. He will be gone for a year and I am very worried about the effect this will have on Hallie, who is already a very anxious child. My former husband and I, exes though we are, are friends. Heck, even he and Randy are friends. We grew up together. Our parents grew up together. Our grandparents picked cotton together. Well, you get the idea. Anyway, we are hoping and praying that he stays safe and that Hallie will handle it as well as is possible. Other things going on...Alex has decided to move to Huntsville this summer and attend UAH. We are very excited. She and I are very close and we are all looking forward to the opportunity to see her much more often. My mother in law moved back to Tuscaloosa this past weekend and we packed her up and drove her down there. Although we'll miss her, she has a wonderful family there who really needs her right now. We'll just have to see how/if she can stand being away from Ethan and Hallie, though. There have already been a few teary phone calls. Finally, Hallie turns 7 tomorrow. I can't believe my baby is so grown up! Both her front teeth are loose and I just can't imagine how she'll look when they're gone. She's already changed so much. I can't complain, though. She's a gem of a kid. I sure am raising some charmers!

Well, I've got to outside with the kids. Thanks for all your emails. Please pray for us as we move through this transition and the several changes that the kids are experiencing.

My DNA and other ways I'm wasting my time (and money)...

If there were a DHR for blogs, I'd be in trouble. I know...Baby Breaths has been woefully neglected, but I did want to drop in and say hello. As you can guess, I've been busy. Not only have I been wrapping and decorating, but I have also delved into my genealogy project from a few years back. I know, great timing, huh? But, an opportunity arose for me to do some in-depth analysis thanks to my DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) member cousin and I have been able to trace several branches of my family tree 8+ generations all the way back to Scotland, Ireland, England and Germany. Oh, and thanks to 3 certain individuals I could theoretically join my cousin in the DAR. Of course, a sizeable portion of my ancestors are natives to this land and tracing them is a whole other issue. I was given the opportunity to take an ancestry DNA test recently (long story) and there weren't many surprises there...77% European, 22% Native American and 1% African. I always knew my dad's family was Cherokee but the African was interesting. I need to do some more digging!

Okay, well enough about my ancestry. I am sure it's like looking at pictures of someone else's vacation...you don't really care. Hey, at least on the internet you don't have to feign interest. Anyway, I have lots of pressing things to do at the moment, like watching "24" in bed with a bag of Gummi Savers. Yeah. Like I said, I'm busy.

To blog or not to blog...

...that is the question. I'm entering that season of the year where I barely have time to shower, much less write random observations on life. I thought if I started Christmas shopping in August that I would actually have time to savor my favorite time of the year. I am starting to think I should've started in January. No matter how hard I try, I always get overwhelmed with Christmas. Don't misunderstand...I love Christmas and all its wrangling, wrapping and pseudo-dramas. I am not one of these people that dread the final two months of our calendar year like dental work, even if being around my extended family is easier with a little nitrous oxide (joke). I just feel pressured to make IT happen for my family. What IT is I'm not quite sure. I'll let you know, though, when I figure it out. In the meantime, I am trying to decide if Hallie is old enough to build a gingerbread house yet, or if Ethan will be able to manage his Christmas performance without kicking over expensive sound equipment onstage (don't ask), or if Alex would appreciate luggage as a gift or would that just be disappointing? *sigh*

I apparently still have some work to do.

30...

I am older than 42% of Americans. I have already lost 10% of my muscle mass. I have said goodbye to my impetuous twenties and hello to the decade of maturity without cynicism, idealism without naiveity, and morality without judgment. If I'm lucky, my life is a third of the way over. If not, I could be dead tomorrow. Who knows? All I know is that a lot has changed in ten years. Ten years ago, I was about to be married to the wrong person for all the wrong reasons. He was my escape and I was a good way to make his "ex"girlfriend jealous. Well, four years later I discovered that I wasn't quite the Houdini I thought I was and the "ex"girlfriend is now my ex-husband's second wife of almost five years. Funny how life works, huh?

Don't misunderstand. I am no pessimist. I am still a hopeless Romantic. The idealism of my youth still lingers, but is tempered with a little experience, wisdom and the knowledge that Don Henley was right...the heart of the matter really is forgiveness. I know there's a lot more for me to learn. I am no where near the pinnacle of my education. I just pray that I will always be a willing student. Life is a classroom with momentous final exam at the end. Taking notes is recommended.

Here's to a pen and paper.

My Birthday present!!

In the words of Napolean Dynamite "Yesss!" I got a new camera for my birthday today. Although I don't actually hit the big 3-0 until 6:32 tomorrow morning, I got my present early so we could take pictures on our hike today. The Fall colors are unbelievable and I got some awesome pictures.

I'll just go eat worms...

Today has really gotten me down. I just feel so …pointless. It seems no matter what I do, I can’t stay on top of everything. The laundry piles up, my van fills up with crap, the kitchen goes from perfect to trashed in about 30 seconds. Everything I do just gets undone in five minutes, so why even bother? It doesn’t help that Hallie has developed an attitude problem in the last few weeks that I can’t seem to nip in the bud. Sometimes I feel like all I do is nag at my kids and it doesn’t do any good and nothing changes except we feel bad the rest of the day. A big part of the problem is that we just have way too much going on. We lead a small group Bible study every Monday evening which includes getting a sitter and being gone for 2-3 hours. Tuesday night? Randy has worship team practice at church for 2-3 hours and the kids are in bed when he gets home. Wednesday? Church, when we can go. Lately we have just been staying home to catch our breath. Thursday? Randy teaches karate. Weekends are okay except Randy has to be at the church by 7:30 on Sunday mornings and is there until 12:30. That means I am the one getting the two (sometimes 3) kids up, fed, dressed and to church. Needless to say, sometimes I go looking pretty darn crappy. It’s a good thing our church is casual dress. On top of all that, Randy is scoring a musical at the local theater and the kids often have various extracurricular activities like soccer, softball or music. Free time for me is a non-existent idea. Between 8:30 and my bedtime is all there is and that is time I really should be folding clothes or unloading the dishwasher, but instead I blog or read and feel guilty about it. UGH…something’s got to give. I just don’t know what yet. Frankly, I have nothing left to give. We’ve tried giving up the small group obligation (or at least scaling it back some) but every time we try someone in our church just gives us a huge guilt trip. Maybe our church is the problem. Maybe we should try somewhere else. Frankly, I wouldn’t mind visiting around, but I can only imagine what kind of guilt trip we’ll get then. Seriously, we’d probably lose some close friends over it.

Why does it have to be so complicated? When did I sign up to make everyone happy??

Happy Halloween!!

Hope you all have a safe and fun evening!

Ethan is better and we had a great time tonight, even though we had to trick or treat with umbrellas!

My Baby...

My little boy is quite sick today. It breaks my heart when those big tears roll down his face and he says through chattering teeth "I'm not feeling so good, Mommy." I awoke around midnight to his crying and found him in bed with chills and a fever of 103. When he begged to come to bed with me, of course I tucked him in my arms and brought him down. For a while he just wanted to lie there and discuss all the shadows in my room, but finally he snuggled up under my chin and fell asleep. I didn't sleep very much, but that's okay. After a morning of making ghost lollipops and reading books together, he is now napping with his stuffed dog, Douglas, under his arm and looking so angelic it's all I can do not to squeeze him. I'm just praying he is feeling well enough to trick or treat tomorrow or he will be very disappointed. He is a special little boy and it's hard when he's not feeling well because he is normally so happy and upbeat. Those big blue eyes and dimples (and being the baby, of course) go a long way. No one that meets him can resist his funny chatter and imagination. He's definitely his daddy's boy.

Have you ever seen a cuter kid (well, both of them!)?
Okay, well all this is making me feel the urge to check on him one more time. I'll update later!

Little Things...

You can be having a really bad day...the kind where your preschooler spills chocolate milk all over himself and some other people in Starbucks; where you realize your lipstick was in your jeans pocket after you get them out of the dryer; where your sinuses are so clogged you can't tast a single bite of your french toast and an alarm keeps sounding in your van every time you start it and you just pray it's nothing serious. You know, the kind of day where you just wish you could get back in bed and start over in the morning. Well, either that or have a margarita on the rocks and a good backrub. That's the kind of day I was having, that is until about 3:30 this afternoon.

Funny how things can change pretty quickly.

Under the Weather

Yuck. I am sick of being sick. The left side of my head feels like it could explode at any second and my throat feels like I swallowed a Brillo pad. Guess it's off to the Dr. for me tomorrow. Have I ever mentioned that I hate going to the doctor? Yeah, well, I do. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I have a fear of the sphygmomanometer. Weird, huh? Needles don't bother me at all. Pain? I can take it. Sight of my own blood? No biggie. Black cuff squeezing my arm until I can feel my heart beat in my bicep? Totally freaky. Just one more little tidbit of Jana info I am sure you were dying to know.

Well, other than my general feeling of yuckiness, it's been a pretty good week. Yesterday Randy promoted the kids to yellow belt. They were so excited. I am astonished at how much they have learned and improved. Today we had a conference with Hallie's teacher and received her first report card. All A's!!! Very high A's, in fact. Most importantly, though, her teacher really bragged on Hallie's sweet demeanor and good behavior. I try to stress daily to my kids that doing their best in their work is very important, but being kind and loving is the most important thing they can do. What's that cliche? People will forget what you say and what you do, but they will never forget how you make them feel. Cliche or not, I believe that.

Well, I think I will go get under my blankie and take a couple of Motrin. I'll let you know if I survive my doctor appointment ;)

Hallie and her proud dad...

A Saturday...

This is a great day for a few reasons. The first and most important is that my best friend turned 30 today. That's right...Sally is now officially an old woman and in 21 days I will join her in her infirmity. I'm just kidding, of course. Thirty isn't really all that old, I don't suppose. It sure as heck sounded old about 15 years ago. I have to tread carefully here, though, since my other half is...well, let's just say he rounded this corner a few years ago. In all seriousness, I think entering our fourth decade of life is a positive thing, Sal. Maybe our mothers will finally forgive us for "that night". Okay, probably not, but we can hope.

The other significant event of the day is that Auburn whooped some Gator heinie tonight in what is probably in the top five best football games I have ever seen. Of course, seeing it in High Def TV added to the coolness factor, and other than being there, this was the next best thing. I know I was a little hard on them after their loss last week, but they played their hearts out tonight.

The rest of day had it's moments as well. Herman pulled himself out of his latest funk (and believed demise) to turn over his food dish and make a big mess. Way to go, Hermie. You're not going gently into that good night. Hallie played some wicked softball in the front yard. Ethan Skywalker saved us all from the evil emperor. Scott and I grilled some killer steaks for supper, and last but not least, Randy is doing the dishes at his insistence. What a guy! I think I'll go keep him company.

;) Night-night.

Aaaaaarrrrrrggggghhh!

Okay, don't even talk to me about the football game this weekend. Let me just say that after being beaten by Arkansas, we will be lucky to be in the top twenty. Excuse me while I go in the other room and scream.

In other news, Randy and I are having a little weekend get-a-way which has helped me put Auburn's devastating loss behind me ;) Hallie is spending 5 days with her dad which is the longest she has ever been with him or away from me. While I am apprehensive about it, I know this will be good for her. My dad wanted Ethan to visit for a couple of days so we took the RV down to Helena for some R and R. It is so beautiful here this time of year. Of course, where I live is beautiful as well, it's just nice to have a different perspective from time to time. It has been a busy time for us recently. I am sure, if you are reading this, you have noticed that my postings have become nothing more than a conglomerate of the various highlights of my extremely exciting day-to-day activities. I hope the sarcasm is coming through, because I realize that my material of late really isn't all that enthralling. Let me explain that I have had to concentrate most of my creative writing abilities elsewhere. Unfortunately, due to copyright laws, I cannot reproduce any of them here as of now, but I promise to add a little more excitement to Baby Breaths soon. For those of you who have read this far, I thank you for your patience.

Well, I must be off...my man is waiting. I hope you all had a great weekend. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow while I'm sleeping in (wink, wink).

War Eagle, Baby!

We're ranked Number 2, We're ranked Number 2!!!!

Needless to say, we had a great time this weekend. Oh, and did I mention we're ranked #2 in the nation? Just checking... ;)

Good News

Hey ya'll! Good news...my dad is home and recovering. He is still in some pain, but we are relieved to learn that he has a kidney infection and prostatitis instead of something more serious. Thanks for all the hugs!

Well, after a stressful week the fam is off to Auburn for the weekend! We are going to (hopefully) see them stomp Buffalo and spend some time with our best friends. I can't wait to show the kids Toomer's Corner and Samford Hall. It's been so long since they've been there, they don't remember it at all!

I hope ya'll have a great weekend. Gotta go!! :)

Sorry for the leave of absence...

...but lots going on here. We decided against buying the house, although we are looking at other options. Thank you very much for your prayers and concerns. They helped greatly, I'm sure, as we were able to make a quick, yet firm decision and haven't looked back. However, there are other issues at play...my MIL who moved here after Ethan was born has decided to move back to Tuscaloosa due to some extended family issues, notably a diagnosis of lymphoma in her brother and then the death of his wife in a very short period. Her sister also needs her and she is really feeling pulled in that direction. All of this is fine, except that we are very close with her and it has been emotional for all of us.

Finally, my dad has been very sick and in the hospital. I am so very worried about him. I don't have time to go into it now, but he is with a specialist at the moment and we are awaiting some news. I am extremely close to my father and I would not know what to do if something happened to him. I have been through so many serious illnesses with my parents that I had really hoped we would have a few years of peace. Please pray for his healing.

Okay, I have to go. I will try to post later. Thank you to my loyal readers....you really make my day.