Thursday, March 30, 2006

Thanks Times Two

Thank you for all of your encouraging words regarding Hallie. She has been sleeping much better since Sunday night. Now we need to work on the root of these fears and reducing her rituals and compulsions. Her first therapy appt. isn't until April 25th, so we have a while. I just hope this doctor is able to help her. I haven't totally ruled out medication, but I am going to wait and get the psy. opinion. It seems like whenever we nip one thing in the bud, it is replaced with something else. She now insists on sleeping with a bowl in her bed in case she throws up during the night. She hasn't been sick for months, so I am not sure where this came from, but she panics if it's not there. That's just one example, however I do want to share an experience I had last night. I was watching TLC in bed and all these shows with heartwrenching stories kept coming on and I really had a moment of knowing exactly how small my problems are. I don't have to scrub and cream my children's skin 4 times a day so they won't die from Harlequin-Icthyosis or any other genetic disease. No one in my family weighs 750 pounds and I don't have to watch them die slowly from the effects. I haven't lost a child or had one with a serious illness. I have a loving husband, a beautiful home, 2 precious and healthy children and no need goes unmet. I really don't have anything to complain about. All I can do is just thank God and pray for those who do experience the things above.

Well, this week has been beautiful. We are now officially in shorts/T-shirt weather (my favorite). It is that awesome time of year where the days are warm but not hot and the nights are cool but not cold. We are loving it! Hallie began softball this week so we have really been taking advantage of the weather and practicing a lot. Even Ethan who is only 3 years and 4 months can hit a ball pitched to him. I am impressed, and so is his daddy!

Monday, March 27, 2006

Back to the Land of Reality

Let me first inform you that I am writing this after a night of absolutely NO sleep. Not 3 hours, not one hour, not 30 minutes....NONE. So, if this makes no sense, cut me a break.

We arrived home last night at 10 p.m. and quickly shuffled the kids to bed. We were totally exhausted after 10 hours in a moving motor home and Randy and I went to bed as soon as we could. Unfortunately, Hallie could not sleep and I was up with her until 3:30 a.m. wondering why I had decided against medication again (?). Finally, she calmed down and went to sleep, but I was so worried about her that I could not. I finally just got up and started the day. Needless to say, she did not go to school today. She seems fine now, but I am stressed about bedtime tonight. It is tough knowing that I have genetically passed OCD on to my daughter. It is ten times harder to go through this with my child than myself. I have shed many a tear over this and although I know it could be much worse, I wonder if I am doing the right thing by not medicating her. A six year old on Paxil? I was a teenager before I entered the land of SSRI's. Admittedly, I waited too late, but it just seems wrong to start her on something that may be a lifetime regimen at such an early age. I don't want her to go through her childhood afraid like I did, though. Lord, help me. I need some guidance here.

Well, our trip was wonderful, despite our problems last night and my zombie-like state today. I will recover, though. I have lots of experience in coping with no sleep. Lots.


Family carriage ride through historic Charleston.


















Living here wouldn't suck, would it?