Randy's First Round of Tests

Hello all! Well, Randy has his endoscopy and biopsies today. Everything went very well. He does have a hiatal hernia which has been causing a lot of his gastric problems. They also biopsied several places in his stomach, but thankfully the doctor says that he doesn't think they are anything to worry about. We will find out in a week at his appointment. Although I am sure things are fine, please continue to pray for him. He has to wait over a month for the next round of testing.

I want to thank all of you for your responses to my last entry. The delurking alone (2 came out of the woodwork!) made my day! It's very heartwarming to know that I have people that I haven't even met rooting for me. And for you new commentors (or is it commentees?), please feel free to do so any time. Or not. Whatever makes you comfortable. I am just thankful to have some readers...especially such caring ones.

Okay, it's family movie night! Got to make the popcorn. A great evening to all and thanks so much!

Purging...

Sometimes I think that I have never known peace. Only in the most divine moments of my relationship with Jesus have I even glimpsed it's misty form. Even as a small child when everyone deserves to feel safe, I didn't. I was always doing something wrong. I wasn't being quiet enough. I couldn't sit still enough. I didn't drink my coke fast enough. My shoes were always untied. My ice cream always ran down my elbow. I chewed my fingernails. I twisted my hair. I bit my lip. Everything I did made life even more miserable for my sad parents. As a result, I have become a woman who often feels like a failure. A woman who expects perfection from myself. A woman who feels worthy of punishment if the casserole is overdone. A woman with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with a sister who almost starved to death not once, but twice. I love my mother and I always will. I know her life wasn't easy, but I don't understand her and I don't think I ever will. I have learned how to have a functional relationship with her, but it's not the way it should be. Sometimes I just want a real mother. Someone I could talk to about my children. Someone to lift me up when I am feeling down. I wish I had memories of my mother comforting me. Babying me. Being on my side. I see my friends who have it and although I have learned to live without it, there's a hole that will always be there. I'm very fortunate to have such a loving and caring dad who is also one of my best friends. There will never be an replacement for that. I also know that I am fortunate to have a mother, but sometimes that's just not enough.

Sometimes, I just wish I had a mommy.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm rather handy in the kitchen?

Well, how would you like to sink your teeth into this?


Aha, the lucky members of my small group will have that chance. Unfortunately, the hubby is out of town closing a big business deal. I'll have to save him some...if there is any left. I suppose there are some people who don't like Black Forest Cobbler, but they wouldn't be friends of mine ;)

Pregnancy Q & A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Weekend...

Whew...what a nice weekend. It seems like the first time since Christmas we have had a few days with both kids to just relax. Friday evening our friends came over and their daughter (Hallie's best friend) slept over (her first). It was great because the kids played upstairs and the adults got to chat for a few hours. Anyway, Saturday was a beautiful day with temperatures in the 60's so we ended up outside most of the day with all the neighborhood kids ripping and running through the yard. It was the exact scene I had always envisioned when I dreamed about having a family. It just made me very grateful to God for what He has given us. I never want to lose sight of that.

Well, this week will be a busy one. Randy will be out of town for two days and then he has his endoscopy on Thursday. It will last most of the morning and then he will be groggy from the anesthesia for a while. Please pray for a postivie outcome. He is fairly anxious about it. I really feel that everything will be fine, but I am mostly worried about how he will do with the procedure itself. Having a scope going down your throat and into your stomach doesn't sound like an ideal way to spend a morning. Of course it could be worse. Wait, that one is next month ;)

Alright, I am going to end this boring post and go to bed. I hope you all had as good a weekend as I did!