My Birthday present!!

In the words of Napolean Dynamite "Yesss!" I got a new camera for my birthday today. Although I don't actually hit the big 3-0 until 6:32 tomorrow morning, I got my present early so we could take pictures on our hike today. The Fall colors are unbelievable and I got some awesome pictures.

I'll just go eat worms...

Today has really gotten me down. I just feel so …pointless. It seems no matter what I do, I can’t stay on top of everything. The laundry piles up, my van fills up with crap, the kitchen goes from perfect to trashed in about 30 seconds. Everything I do just gets undone in five minutes, so why even bother? It doesn’t help that Hallie has developed an attitude problem in the last few weeks that I can’t seem to nip in the bud. Sometimes I feel like all I do is nag at my kids and it doesn’t do any good and nothing changes except we feel bad the rest of the day. A big part of the problem is that we just have way too much going on. We lead a small group Bible study every Monday evening which includes getting a sitter and being gone for 2-3 hours. Tuesday night? Randy has worship team practice at church for 2-3 hours and the kids are in bed when he gets home. Wednesday? Church, when we can go. Lately we have just been staying home to catch our breath. Thursday? Randy teaches karate. Weekends are okay except Randy has to be at the church by 7:30 on Sunday mornings and is there until 12:30. That means I am the one getting the two (sometimes 3) kids up, fed, dressed and to church. Needless to say, sometimes I go looking pretty darn crappy. It’s a good thing our church is casual dress. On top of all that, Randy is scoring a musical at the local theater and the kids often have various extracurricular activities like soccer, softball or music. Free time for me is a non-existent idea. Between 8:30 and my bedtime is all there is and that is time I really should be folding clothes or unloading the dishwasher, but instead I blog or read and feel guilty about it. UGH…something’s got to give. I just don’t know what yet. Frankly, I have nothing left to give. We’ve tried giving up the small group obligation (or at least scaling it back some) but every time we try someone in our church just gives us a huge guilt trip. Maybe our church is the problem. Maybe we should try somewhere else. Frankly, I wouldn’t mind visiting around, but I can only imagine what kind of guilt trip we’ll get then. Seriously, we’d probably lose some close friends over it.

Why does it have to be so complicated? When did I sign up to make everyone happy??

Happy Halloween!!

Hope you all have a safe and fun evening!

Ethan is better and we had a great time tonight, even though we had to trick or treat with umbrellas!

My Baby...

My little boy is quite sick today. It breaks my heart when those big tears roll down his face and he says through chattering teeth "I'm not feeling so good, Mommy." I awoke around midnight to his crying and found him in bed with chills and a fever of 103. When he begged to come to bed with me, of course I tucked him in my arms and brought him down. For a while he just wanted to lie there and discuss all the shadows in my room, but finally he snuggled up under my chin and fell asleep. I didn't sleep very much, but that's okay. After a morning of making ghost lollipops and reading books together, he is now napping with his stuffed dog, Douglas, under his arm and looking so angelic it's all I can do not to squeeze him. I'm just praying he is feeling well enough to trick or treat tomorrow or he will be very disappointed. He is a special little boy and it's hard when he's not feeling well because he is normally so happy and upbeat. Those big blue eyes and dimples (and being the baby, of course) go a long way. No one that meets him can resist his funny chatter and imagination. He's definitely his daddy's boy.

Have you ever seen a cuter kid (well, both of them!)?
Okay, well all this is making me feel the urge to check on him one more time. I'll update later!