My DNA and other ways I'm wasting my time (and money)...

If there were a DHR for blogs, I'd be in trouble. I know...Baby Breaths has been woefully neglected, but I did want to drop in and say hello. As you can guess, I've been busy. Not only have I been wrapping and decorating, but I have also delved into my genealogy project from a few years back. I know, great timing, huh? But, an opportunity arose for me to do some in-depth analysis thanks to my DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) member cousin and I have been able to trace several branches of my family tree 8+ generations all the way back to Scotland, Ireland, England and Germany. Oh, and thanks to 3 certain individuals I could theoretically join my cousin in the DAR. Of course, a sizeable portion of my ancestors are natives to this land and tracing them is a whole other issue. I was given the opportunity to take an ancestry DNA test recently (long story) and there weren't many surprises there...77% European, 22% Native American and 1% African. I always knew my dad's family was Cherokee but the African was interesting. I need to do some more digging!

Okay, well enough about my ancestry. I am sure it's like looking at pictures of someone else's vacation...you don't really care. Hey, at least on the internet you don't have to feign interest. Anyway, I have lots of pressing things to do at the moment, like watching "24" in bed with a bag of Gummi Savers. Yeah. Like I said, I'm busy.

To blog or not to blog...

...that is the question. I'm entering that season of the year where I barely have time to shower, much less write random observations on life. I thought if I started Christmas shopping in August that I would actually have time to savor my favorite time of the year. I am starting to think I should've started in January. No matter how hard I try, I always get overwhelmed with Christmas. Don't misunderstand...I love Christmas and all its wrangling, wrapping and pseudo-dramas. I am not one of these people that dread the final two months of our calendar year like dental work, even if being around my extended family is easier with a little nitrous oxide (joke). I just feel pressured to make IT happen for my family. What IT is I'm not quite sure. I'll let you know, though, when I figure it out. In the meantime, I am trying to decide if Hallie is old enough to build a gingerbread house yet, or if Ethan will be able to manage his Christmas performance without kicking over expensive sound equipment onstage (don't ask), or if Alex would appreciate luggage as a gift or would that just be disappointing? *sigh*

I apparently still have some work to do.

30...

I am older than 42% of Americans. I have already lost 10% of my muscle mass. I have said goodbye to my impetuous twenties and hello to the decade of maturity without cynicism, idealism without naiveity, and morality without judgment. If I'm lucky, my life is a third of the way over. If not, I could be dead tomorrow. Who knows? All I know is that a lot has changed in ten years. Ten years ago, I was about to be married to the wrong person for all the wrong reasons. He was my escape and I was a good way to make his "ex"girlfriend jealous. Well, four years later I discovered that I wasn't quite the Houdini I thought I was and the "ex"girlfriend is now my ex-husband's second wife of almost five years. Funny how life works, huh?

Don't misunderstand. I am no pessimist. I am still a hopeless Romantic. The idealism of my youth still lingers, but is tempered with a little experience, wisdom and the knowledge that Don Henley was right...the heart of the matter really is forgiveness. I know there's a lot more for me to learn. I am no where near the pinnacle of my education. I just pray that I will always be a willing student. Life is a classroom with momentous final exam at the end. Taking notes is recommended.

Here's to a pen and paper.

My Birthday present!!

In the words of Napolean Dynamite "Yesss!" I got a new camera for my birthday today. Although I don't actually hit the big 3-0 until 6:32 tomorrow morning, I got my present early so we could take pictures on our hike today. The Fall colors are unbelievable and I got some awesome pictures.

I'll just go eat worms...

Today has really gotten me down. I just feel so …pointless. It seems no matter what I do, I can’t stay on top of everything. The laundry piles up, my van fills up with crap, the kitchen goes from perfect to trashed in about 30 seconds. Everything I do just gets undone in five minutes, so why even bother? It doesn’t help that Hallie has developed an attitude problem in the last few weeks that I can’t seem to nip in the bud. Sometimes I feel like all I do is nag at my kids and it doesn’t do any good and nothing changes except we feel bad the rest of the day. A big part of the problem is that we just have way too much going on. We lead a small group Bible study every Monday evening which includes getting a sitter and being gone for 2-3 hours. Tuesday night? Randy has worship team practice at church for 2-3 hours and the kids are in bed when he gets home. Wednesday? Church, when we can go. Lately we have just been staying home to catch our breath. Thursday? Randy teaches karate. Weekends are okay except Randy has to be at the church by 7:30 on Sunday mornings and is there until 12:30. That means I am the one getting the two (sometimes 3) kids up, fed, dressed and to church. Needless to say, sometimes I go looking pretty darn crappy. It’s a good thing our church is casual dress. On top of all that, Randy is scoring a musical at the local theater and the kids often have various extracurricular activities like soccer, softball or music. Free time for me is a non-existent idea. Between 8:30 and my bedtime is all there is and that is time I really should be folding clothes or unloading the dishwasher, but instead I blog or read and feel guilty about it. UGH…something’s got to give. I just don’t know what yet. Frankly, I have nothing left to give. We’ve tried giving up the small group obligation (or at least scaling it back some) but every time we try someone in our church just gives us a huge guilt trip. Maybe our church is the problem. Maybe we should try somewhere else. Frankly, I wouldn’t mind visiting around, but I can only imagine what kind of guilt trip we’ll get then. Seriously, we’d probably lose some close friends over it.

Why does it have to be so complicated? When did I sign up to make everyone happy??

Happy Halloween!!

Hope you all have a safe and fun evening!

Ethan is better and we had a great time tonight, even though we had to trick or treat with umbrellas!

My Baby...

My little boy is quite sick today. It breaks my heart when those big tears roll down his face and he says through chattering teeth "I'm not feeling so good, Mommy." I awoke around midnight to his crying and found him in bed with chills and a fever of 103. When he begged to come to bed with me, of course I tucked him in my arms and brought him down. For a while he just wanted to lie there and discuss all the shadows in my room, but finally he snuggled up under my chin and fell asleep. I didn't sleep very much, but that's okay. After a morning of making ghost lollipops and reading books together, he is now napping with his stuffed dog, Douglas, under his arm and looking so angelic it's all I can do not to squeeze him. I'm just praying he is feeling well enough to trick or treat tomorrow or he will be very disappointed. He is a special little boy and it's hard when he's not feeling well because he is normally so happy and upbeat. Those big blue eyes and dimples (and being the baby, of course) go a long way. No one that meets him can resist his funny chatter and imagination. He's definitely his daddy's boy.

Have you ever seen a cuter kid (well, both of them!)?
Okay, well all this is making me feel the urge to check on him one more time. I'll update later!

Little Things...

You can be having a really bad day...the kind where your preschooler spills chocolate milk all over himself and some other people in Starbucks; where you realize your lipstick was in your jeans pocket after you get them out of the dryer; where your sinuses are so clogged you can't tast a single bite of your french toast and an alarm keeps sounding in your van every time you start it and you just pray it's nothing serious. You know, the kind of day where you just wish you could get back in bed and start over in the morning. Well, either that or have a margarita on the rocks and a good backrub. That's the kind of day I was having, that is until about 3:30 this afternoon.

Funny how things can change pretty quickly.

Under the Weather

Yuck. I am sick of being sick. The left side of my head feels like it could explode at any second and my throat feels like I swallowed a Brillo pad. Guess it's off to the Dr. for me tomorrow. Have I ever mentioned that I hate going to the doctor? Yeah, well, I do. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I have a fear of the sphygmomanometer. Weird, huh? Needles don't bother me at all. Pain? I can take it. Sight of my own blood? No biggie. Black cuff squeezing my arm until I can feel my heart beat in my bicep? Totally freaky. Just one more little tidbit of Jana info I am sure you were dying to know.

Well, other than my general feeling of yuckiness, it's been a pretty good week. Yesterday Randy promoted the kids to yellow belt. They were so excited. I am astonished at how much they have learned and improved. Today we had a conference with Hallie's teacher and received her first report card. All A's!!! Very high A's, in fact. Most importantly, though, her teacher really bragged on Hallie's sweet demeanor and good behavior. I try to stress daily to my kids that doing their best in their work is very important, but being kind and loving is the most important thing they can do. What's that cliche? People will forget what you say and what you do, but they will never forget how you make them feel. Cliche or not, I believe that.

Well, I think I will go get under my blankie and take a couple of Motrin. I'll let you know if I survive my doctor appointment ;)

Hallie and her proud dad...

A Saturday...

This is a great day for a few reasons. The first and most important is that my best friend turned 30 today. That's right...Sally is now officially an old woman and in 21 days I will join her in her infirmity. I'm just kidding, of course. Thirty isn't really all that old, I don't suppose. It sure as heck sounded old about 15 years ago. I have to tread carefully here, though, since my other half is...well, let's just say he rounded this corner a few years ago. In all seriousness, I think entering our fourth decade of life is a positive thing, Sal. Maybe our mothers will finally forgive us for "that night". Okay, probably not, but we can hope.

The other significant event of the day is that Auburn whooped some Gator heinie tonight in what is probably in the top five best football games I have ever seen. Of course, seeing it in High Def TV added to the coolness factor, and other than being there, this was the next best thing. I know I was a little hard on them after their loss last week, but they played their hearts out tonight.

The rest of day had it's moments as well. Herman pulled himself out of his latest funk (and believed demise) to turn over his food dish and make a big mess. Way to go, Hermie. You're not going gently into that good night. Hallie played some wicked softball in the front yard. Ethan Skywalker saved us all from the evil emperor. Scott and I grilled some killer steaks for supper, and last but not least, Randy is doing the dishes at his insistence. What a guy! I think I'll go keep him company.

;) Night-night.

Aaaaaarrrrrrggggghhh!

Okay, don't even talk to me about the football game this weekend. Let me just say that after being beaten by Arkansas, we will be lucky to be in the top twenty. Excuse me while I go in the other room and scream.

In other news, Randy and I are having a little weekend get-a-way which has helped me put Auburn's devastating loss behind me ;) Hallie is spending 5 days with her dad which is the longest she has ever been with him or away from me. While I am apprehensive about it, I know this will be good for her. My dad wanted Ethan to visit for a couple of days so we took the RV down to Helena for some R and R. It is so beautiful here this time of year. Of course, where I live is beautiful as well, it's just nice to have a different perspective from time to time. It has been a busy time for us recently. I am sure, if you are reading this, you have noticed that my postings have become nothing more than a conglomerate of the various highlights of my extremely exciting day-to-day activities. I hope the sarcasm is coming through, because I realize that my material of late really isn't all that enthralling. Let me explain that I have had to concentrate most of my creative writing abilities elsewhere. Unfortunately, due to copyright laws, I cannot reproduce any of them here as of now, but I promise to add a little more excitement to Baby Breaths soon. For those of you who have read this far, I thank you for your patience.

Well, I must be off...my man is waiting. I hope you all had a great weekend. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow while I'm sleeping in (wink, wink).

War Eagle, Baby!

We're ranked Number 2, We're ranked Number 2!!!!

Needless to say, we had a great time this weekend. Oh, and did I mention we're ranked #2 in the nation? Just checking... ;)

Good News

Hey ya'll! Good news...my dad is home and recovering. He is still in some pain, but we are relieved to learn that he has a kidney infection and prostatitis instead of something more serious. Thanks for all the hugs!

Well, after a stressful week the fam is off to Auburn for the weekend! We are going to (hopefully) see them stomp Buffalo and spend some time with our best friends. I can't wait to show the kids Toomer's Corner and Samford Hall. It's been so long since they've been there, they don't remember it at all!

I hope ya'll have a great weekend. Gotta go!! :)

Sorry for the leave of absence...

...but lots going on here. We decided against buying the house, although we are looking at other options. Thank you very much for your prayers and concerns. They helped greatly, I'm sure, as we were able to make a quick, yet firm decision and haven't looked back. However, there are other issues at play...my MIL who moved here after Ethan was born has decided to move back to Tuscaloosa due to some extended family issues, notably a diagnosis of lymphoma in her brother and then the death of his wife in a very short period. Her sister also needs her and she is really feeling pulled in that direction. All of this is fine, except that we are very close with her and it has been emotional for all of us.

Finally, my dad has been very sick and in the hospital. I am so very worried about him. I don't have time to go into it now, but he is with a specialist at the moment and we are awaiting some news. I am extremely close to my father and I would not know what to do if something happened to him. I have been through so many serious illnesses with my parents that I had really hoped we would have a few years of peace. Please pray for his healing.

Okay, I have to go. I will try to post later. Thank you to my loyal readers....you really make my day.

Quick Prayer Request

Hey blog friends,

Please say a prayer for Randy and I to hear God's voice and give us guidance. The opportunity has arisen for us to buy a house much closer to the school and Randy's office. It needs a little updating and is a good bit smaller, but still big enough (I think). I just don't know what to do. The three bedrooms (other than the master) share a hallway bathroom which is fine for the five of us (Scott would stay downstairs and use that bathroom) but my biggest concern is when the other kids visit. They are used to having their own space and I don't want to disappoint them. Except for Marshall, who practically rooms with Hallie and Ethan anyway, I am not sure how it would work. Of course, Alex will be in college next year anyway and may be living here, too. Then I know we would have to build a bonus room onto that house for it to be big enough.

The advantages would be that it is much less space to keep clean! Here I have 5000 square feet which includes 6 bedrooms on 3 levels (that's a lot of vacuuming) and 5 bathrooms (that's alot of Lysol) and I am constantly overwhelmed keeping up with it. The master bedroom is upstairs there and here it is not which I HATE! I don't like being so far away from the kids at night. I still use a baby monitor in each of their rooms because I am so paranoid about it. The playroom there is downstairs which is good because the kids can play within earshot of me while I am working in the kitchen. It has a beautiful yard with tons of flat areas to play, and has a pool very similar to ours now, so we wouldn't have to give that up.

We are very conflicted. It would be so much better in a lot of ways, but again, I just don't know. I love this house. We have lived here for four years. It is where we brought Ethan home from the hospital...where we have had the kids birthday parties...where they learned to swim, ride bikes and we have the best neighbors in the world. The fact is, though, that we are going to have to move eventually because neither our cars nor I can take driving over the mountain six times a day. I feel like I live in my van and I am sick of it. It's a good chance to downsize a little and not have to give up much and really gain a lot in the way of convenience.

I am sorry to be asking for prayer about something so non-essential. It's just a big decision and I have come to value the prayers and advice of my fellow blogging Christians. Thanks so much.

Oh, and Ethan seems to have developed a chest cold and the doc says that is what caused his asthma. I am relieved because hopefully that means it's not becoming a chronic problem and will go away when the congestion does. Thanks for everyone's concern! I love ya'll!!

I don't have ADD, I promise...

I am freaking out because Ethan has had two asthma attacks in the last two days. He has not had any in years, and then only secondary to illness. Luckily, I still have his inhaler on hand, but this is distressing. What in the world would cause this all of a sudden? Randy had horrible asthma as a child, but his started as an infant. Am I doing something wrong? I am taking him to the doctor tomorrow, but I am just hoping he's okay.

Well, Alabama ranked 48th in life expectancy. That's not too good, folks. Why is it that my home state ranks 48th or 49th in almost everything? It really is a misrepresentation. But I won't get into that now.

I had a really loooooooooong, sad post written yesterday, but I just couldn't get it finished. I guess I could work on it later, we'll see. Let's just say that the victims of 9/11 were at the forefront of my thoughts and prayers yesterday. I finished reading "Let's Roll" several months ago and it greatly affected me. I recommend it highly.

Okay, got to go...the asparagus is getting overdone.

Awesomeness

This was an incredible weekend and even a good "Tuesday" (felt like Monday). Friday night Hallie visisted her dad and Ethan visited his grandma, so Randy and I had the night to ourselves. We ate with friends, went on a walk after dark and even made a midnight run to the 24 hour Sonic drive-in for some much needed ice cream. I swear, Randy and I cannot go two days without junk food. Anyway, we stayed up late, slept late and then picked up Ethan and drove to Cracker Barrel for a healthy breakfast of pancakes, grits, eggs and biscuits. Yes, food is my love language and it's a beautiful one at that. Anyhoo, the three of us went on a bike ride and then settled in to watch Auburn (#4...yeah!) stomp Washington State. Of course, Alabama won, too, but you can't have everything.

On Labor Day we took the kids to the Botanical Gardens and had so much fun. It was still a little warm, but it has definitely cooled down, especially at night. That evening we grilled out and once again dined on some really healthy portions of hotdogs, hamburgers, potato chips and cupcakes. Today Ethan and I did some much needed shopping for pants that don't end up around his ankles (the kid is skinny) and he was such a good boy.

This afternoon Hallie brought home her first progress report and not only does she have all A's, but all 100's or 98's. We are so proud of her! She is a very good reader and has picked up on math like a whiz. She is also about to test for yellow belt in karate and she is very excited. If it seems like it took a long time, you are probably used to hearing about Taekwondo where the ranks go much faster and are easier to obtain. In Shorin Ryu, it takes grown men training 20 hours a week 4 years or more to make brown belt (think Mr. Miagi). So, you can see this will be a great accomplishment for her after only four months. She says she is going all the way to tenth degree black, and we don't doubt it. When that girl sets her mind to something, she goes for it all the way.

Okay, I have to go do some writing that actually pays something society will exchange for goods. Here is a picture of the kids from yesterday. I hope all of you had as great of a weekend as I did!

Aware

For my children...

Somewhere between clay and form,
A candle, lit but not yet formed by
The waxy pattern that will surround you.
You are not blank, only impressionable.
In a world dying to impress.
You will not know all the answers,
But when one eludes you,
You will sense its absence
Like a word that is on your tongue
But not making a sound.
It will scream at you in silence.
You will hear it and turn your head
It will be a tinnitus that never ends,
That has no cure save one-

Discovery.

Please take this offering from me,
The gift that will save you from mediocrity.
The word your ancestors exhale in their muddy regret
daring you to listen.
Put your ear to crest of their tomb.
. . .Can you hear it?

It Was a Good Day Because...

Randy is upstairs unloading the dishwasher as I type. I love that man.

Our homeowners insurance is replacing our entire hardwood floor (5 rooms!) due to a leaky fitting under the sink that damaged a small portion of it.

I had a professional clean my bathrooms and floors today. Ahhh, that was nice.

Ethan and I took our lunch to the waterfall and had a lovely picnic and nature walk.

Ethan picked a wildflower just for me.

Ethan found an acorn that he has decided a squirrel and chipmunk will share. He left it outside for them to find. *Note to self: move the acorn before tomorrow.

I realized that Hallie has made a 100 on every assignment in first grade so far.

During karate tonight, Hallie floored her dad (literally) after both the boys failed to do so. You go, girl!

Randy has decided to test Hallie and the Brashiers for yellow belt in a few weeks.

I unexpectedly met two friends in the coffee shop and had some unexpected adult conversation while Ethan drank his chocolate milk and ate his fruit.

I got a peach smoothie from Sonic. Yum!

While watching Ethan at soccer, I felt the first cool breeze of the season and was actually comfortable outside for the first time since April.

Tomorrow is Friday!!!

And last but not least, five years ago today Randy and I met on the great information highway we know as the internet via Yahoo instant messenger. They have been the most meaningful and happy years of my life.

Has anyone ever....

made the mistake of buying their child's halloween costume two months early resulting in the inability to peel it off of the said child who is melting inside his astronaut flight suit while it's 95 degrees outside?

Maybe it's just me.